A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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