She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
