well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
