i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
