HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize