That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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