She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
