I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
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