my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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