whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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