If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
