I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Soap is not a condiment
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
