PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
