While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
