I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
