i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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