she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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