Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
