He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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