I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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