Apparently you make a good broom.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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