do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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