we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
