when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish you could order shots online.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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