I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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