i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
