He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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