I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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