You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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