I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Congratulations! We have a period
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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