stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
