I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
