More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
