yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
