I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
