we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
