roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize