i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
time to smoke my breakfast
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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