Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
