it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
