Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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