The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
