and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
