How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
