This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
