Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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