i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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