Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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