yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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