On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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