dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
