I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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