I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
