well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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