bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
