My hand turned me down
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
