Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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