yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This house was built for laser tag.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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