Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
